I had a query from a gentleman just a month before the lock-down, about my NLP Level 2 residential workshop! He had completed my level 1 NLP workshop last year.
He was working in a corporate company, where he enjoyed his work and led a team under him. During the course of the training, I found him to be a very humble soul, who would have a calm poise all the time with a spiritual bent of mind. He was single and enjoyed working for his company as his family.
I talked to him about his leadership skill and the need for him to be more aggressive than he was currently to command his presence amongst his peers.
As I investigated about his personality, I found that when people dont achieve the targets in time, he would get hands on and do it with them. I suggested him about being more clear with his boundaries and other’s boundaries, so that others dont take advantage of him.
With this sort of discussion, we finished Level 1 and I expected him to come to Level 2 workshop to hone his leadership skills, if he found value in what I said.
I waited for him to join, but he didnt. I followed him up for the next course, after which I too got busy with my other batches and moved on.
It was a pleasant surprise to hear from him before lock-down about his intent to do the residential Level 2. I was happy that he found value in what I analysed about honing his leadership skills.
For me, it is important that I have a brief experience of people in Level 1 and they too have a brief experience of me, so that we could discuss their personality and agree on my views of their development.
If they are not ready for their own development or if they are not finding my views right for them at this point in time, I would rather not take them in Level 2.
If I did, then it can bruise them as well as me and also it can stagnate the group’s learning to a certain extent, which I have experienced before.
So I was happy that this gentle man took his time and he wanted to come for Level 2.
The joy of building a personality is my passion, because of which I am very excited about running my training workshops. Every participant is unique and I cant stop myself falling in love with every person, who sign-up into my courses.
Discovering the truth of every person and how certain conditionings dent their reflection of truth to the outside world is a very interesting investigative work, that fills my appetite for work!! So I am all the excited, when some one signs-up for a higher level of workshop, which would allow space for some more deeper work for them as well as me.
Nevertheless, the lock-down happened and he couldn’t sign-up! Even though I put up online courses, he prefered residential.
By the time the lock-down eased, I ran a Level 3 course and there after a couple of Level 1 workshops. By then, it is 2021. I had put up a Level 2 course this April and I remembered him whom I had carried in my mind for more than a year and happily buzzed him 2 weeks ago, that he could now join my residential workshop.
To my shock, I got a response from his sister on his number that he passed away 2 days back due to heart attack!! I was speech less.
I did figure out that his behaviour of being calm and silently leading a team to aggressively to finish the company’s targets can be quite congesting for him, but what I did not figure out was the lock-down which was coming and the effect that would have on his health in addition to the stress that he carried at work.
When he reached out to me before lock-down for my training, He should have been feeling a bit out of control and may be, that is why he reached out to me, I thought.
I only wished if I could have got him into any of my batches online or offline well in time. He was such a remarkable person with amazing values.
I remember many years ago, when I was running my trainings in Jayamahal Palace, Bengaluru…I had a lady psychologist from US who was part of the batch. As I started the training, I was investigating the patterns of one of the participant and he was responding well. As I turned sarcastic and provocative, I told him that he could die of a heart-attack, if he didnt work on a particular pattern of his. He nodded his head a with a new awareness of the seriousness of what I am saying.
I also felt, that was too quick for me to have passed that remark within a short time, but my investigation pointed my awareness to that direction and I also felt he was responding well.
Anyway, during the break the US psychologist came to me and she said she couldnt take that. She asked me politely how I could be so harsh with him just on the start of the training. I explained to her my way of working with people and also my provocative style of training and how I had to say my truth, if I am confident that the person will be taking it.
I remember that guy and this gentleman were suffering from the same pattern.
(For those curious, The sameness in both of theirs pattern was about being in the habit of saying Yes to people and having difficulty to saying No, when you want to. I am so experienced with this pattern, as I have myself suffered from this enough in my own life.)
I am not going to talk about this pattern here, but I am going to talk about how working on your behavioural patterns can impact your mental and physical health.
Two weeks ago, I was working with a participant who had signed up for my online workshop. One of her issues was being very restless. Just after the first session, she felt calm and her husband figured out the different state that she is in after the training & could feedback her.
Last week, she had gone to the hospital for a regular check-up and the doctor found her BP to be normal and she was shocked & couldnt believe it, as it was the first time since many years her BP was normal.
She came back to the third session with lots of gratitude & curiosity to sustain this state while battling the situations at life.
Covid was unexpected and it did add another dimension of stress to the existing layers to almost every one. Our life got challenged in many ways, that we could not imagine. Our children got the worst having to play forcefully play with themselves. Technological gadgets was a big relief, but the cost of those gadgets time was equally destructive. So we all were almost trapped. If you read through the news, you can see the effect of lockdown adding its ugly dimension in most extreme cases being reported.
As the lock-down eases, we all can slowly get back to normalcy and live our old lives again. Training / Coaching can only accelerate this process.
If this stress is too much to bear for some, please do reach out before it is too late and take timely interventions to manage your mental health and personal health!
I am using my coaching skills for myself and my family to stay healthy during this tough times and I would like to contribute my skills to you and your family as well 🙂